By Bra Peter
There are two sentences that cause immediate discomfort in South Africa:
“Men are trash.”
“White people are land thieves.”
Most people don’t hear these as reflections.
They hear them as accusations.
And that’s where the problem begins.
Men Are Trash
When women say “men are trash,”
the first thing many men say is:
“Not all men.”
That’s ego talking.
That’s the part of us that wants to be seen as good, even in a system built on harm.
But let’s tell the truth:
- Most men don’t commit rape,
but most rapists are men. - Most men don’t hit women,
but most domestic violence is done by men. - Most men think they are respectful,
but rarely interrogate the power they walk with.
It’s not about guilt.
It’s about complicity.
We’ve grown up in a world where manhood was defined by dominance.
We inherited toxic masculinity the same way we inherited our surnames.
As Bra Peter, I say this with love and conviction:
Until men can admit what we have been part of, even passively, we cannot heal.
White Silence
Now let’s flip the mirror.
When Black people say “white people are land thieves,”
many white people retreat into silence. Or worse — into defensiveness.
“But I didn’t steal land!”
“My family came here generations ago.”
“Why should I suffer for the past?”
Here’s the truth:
- You didn’t steal the land.
But you live on it. - You didn’t create apartheid.
But you benefit from what it built. - You didn’t create inequality.
But you protect it through silence.
That silence is not neutral.
It is strategic.
And it is violent in its own way.
There is no justice without land.
There is no healing without truth.
There is no peace without participation.
What These Two Reflections Have in Common
Whether it’s men avoiding “trash talk”
or white people avoiding land talk —
the reaction is the same:
“Not me.”
But the real question is not “Did I cause this?”
The question is:
“Am I doing anything to change it?”
Silence is a decision.
Defensiveness is a shield.
But accountability? That’s a door.
So What Now?
- Men must look in the mirror, not just for the harm we’ve caused — but for the silence we’ve maintained.
- White South Africans must face the truth of land theft and participate in its undoing — not through charity, but justice.
- All of us must get comfortable being uncomfortable.
Because truth is not gentle.
But it is freeing.
Final Words
We cannot heal a nation by avoiding mirrors.
We cannot evolve by hiding behind nuance.
Let the slogans sting.
Let the truth burn.
Then let us rise — not as victims or villains — but as people who finally chose to see.
“Men are trash” is not the end. It’s a starting point for new masculinity.
“White silence” is not a fact of life. It’s a choice we can interrupt.
Bra Peter doesn’t shout.
He just places the mirror down — and asks:
Can you face yourself today?